


Monochrome to color

by mitaharukai



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival ALL STARS (Video Game), ラブライブ! 虹ヶ咲学園スクールアイドル同好会 | Love Live! Nijigasaki Gakuen School Idol Doukoukai (Anime)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27764938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitaharukai/pseuds/mitaharukai
Summary: Shizuku learns the hard way to start acting to not be judged or hated, losing herself in the process while her world turns into monochrome until Kasumi appears and her words and innocent touch turns it back to color
Relationships: Nakasu Kasumi/Ousaka Shizuku
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Monochrome to color

**Monochrome to color**

The first time you watched an old classic movie was when you were a little kid and you instantly fell in love with them, already knowing at that early age you wanted to become an actress, loved and respected by everybody.

\- Mommy! Daddy! When I grow up, I want to be an actress! – you shouted to your parents happily while skipping around the house under their attentive and amused gaze.

\- You’ll be an amazing actress, little one – your father told you while he picked you up and you couldn’t be happier knowing your parents supported you.

Their support and your determination were what lead you to be the main tree of the school’s play. Sure it wasn’t a super important role but it was for you and even if you were just a little kid, you were in all the scenes with the protagonists, smiling radiantly at the audience, loving to be under the spotlight and watch them smiling happily back at you while enjoying your tree acting. You especially loved to see your parents clapping proudly and boasting about that little tree being their precious daughter.

In that precise moment, your world got tinted of bright colors.

And since that moment, you decided you wanted to be more than just the main tree of the school's play next time so you adopted a routine, loving to watch those old movies with your parents while watching amazed and paid special attention the actors' magnificent acting so you could learn to be as good as they were for the future when you were older and got to pursue your dream, but sadly, you had to use those skills sooner than you expected.

One day, you were doodling in class when you heard another girl talking about one of those movies you had watched and that you loved so much. You were excited to have found somebody to share your love for classic movies with aside your parents, only to get those hopes crushed.

\- You’re such a weirdo, why do you like those old movies? They don’t even have color!

\- Yeah, they’re really boring!

You heard those kids laughing loudly and saying cruelly to said girl then you witnessed how the sparkle in her eyes slowly faded at each word pronounced.

\- You’re right, they’re really boring and monochrome – you heard her replying, agreeing with them while she put a smile on her face and you couldn’t differentiate if her smile was real or she was faking it, neither if she really meant those words or not but something inside you broke in that exact moment.

That evening you cried in your mother’s arms thinking how unfair and bad those kids were, laughing at something you liked so much even if they didn’t know about it. That evening you learnt people would laugh and be bad to others if they didn’t liked the same things. That evening you also learnt to act not to go through that, not to be laughed at or insulted like that, you learnt to please everybody.

And from that moment on, you pretended to be the happy little kid that liked everything and everybody liked while hiding your own feelings or opinions on the matters, agreeing with everybody and never going against their opinions or tastes, afraid to be judged or hated by that. From that very moment you became a shining star on the rise, taking advantage of all the knowledge you had got after watching so many of your beloved old movies.

That precise moment was also when your life got drained of all those bright colors you came to love so much and turned into monochrome, becoming completely dull.

And that’s how you spent your whole school life, acting all the time but especially, lying to yourself, losing completely who you used to be and yourself in the process. You also lost all interest in old movies and your love for them to the point of end pushing your parents away because of it.

But that slowly changed when you entered in high school.

Although it wasn’t until the school idol club fully returned with more and new members that it changed and your life got back some faint and sporadic touches of color like in the past, especially if a light brown haired girl was by your side.

Every time Kasumi called you by the nickname she gave you or smiled at you or touched you, a little spark lighted up illuminating everything around you with bright and warm colors although that didn’t ended lasting many minutes until it faded back to monochrome.

Until one day even those shades of grey disappeared and your world turned completely black and white and it was all because the power of certain words.

\- You’re going to be replaced – you hear the drama club president telling you at sudden.

\- What? Why?

\- This role is simply not for you Shizuku – she tells you seriously and you feel your world shattering at her words. What does she mean?

\- If there's anything I can work on, please tell me! I promise to give my best! – you beg her, this role it’s too important to you to lose it.

\- I wanted somebody who could open up completely with this role.

\- Open up?

\- Exactly. The role is for a singer so I thought it'd be perfect for you given you're a school idol.

\- Please, give me another chance! – it doesn't matter how much it takes, you'll get your role back even if that means having to open up in front of everybody and face the consequences of it.

You see her leaving after telling you about a second audition and from that moment on, everything around you seemed to slowly darken and lack of life at all. From that moment on, you also had to do an extra effort to act like everything was okay and you were happy: at home, at school, at the club with the girls and especially with Kasumi to not worry her.

\- Are you okay? – you hear Kasumi asking you one day, catching you off guard.

It took you a whole minute to go back to normal before putting a fake smile on, hoping she wouldn’t see through it.

\- I am – you tell her calmly, smiling more, remembering all those times were the protagonist isn’t okay but have to fake it well.

You see her nodding and smiling back at you before going back with the rest of the girls and you release the breath you were unknowingly holding, yet you start to feel guilty for blatantly lie to her like that.

As you stare at the rain pouring hard through the window of the solitary classroom you’re in, you wonder how long you can keep lying to everybody and especially to yourself, pretending everything’s okay and you’re happy. How long can you endure this monochrome hell and who will stay by your side when the truth reveals itself and the real you comes out?

You sigh and shake your head, erasing those thoughts from your mind and fake a smile on your face, wiping away the rebel tears that slide down your face as the sun starts to appear from behind the dark clouds.

\- I found you – you see Kasumi at the door, panting from have been running.

\- Kasumi-san? – why? Why out of everybody she had to be the one finding you in your moment of weakness?

You look away and subtly wipe more tears away, hoping she didn’t see them as she gets closer to you.

\- W-What’s wrong?

\- W-What? Well… We separated in a weird way yesterday so I wanted to see how you were – she says awkwardly and averts her eyes then looks at you insecurely.

It was only that after all…. You don’t know why but you inhale deeply and feel instantly in calm at her words and try to put a smile on your face again so she doesn’t worry about you anymore.

\- I’m sorry to have worried you but I’m okay – you tell her in the most calming way possible even if it hurts you to lie to her.

Suddenly, you feel her hands cupping your face as she stares at you intensely and very close, making your heart beat faster.

\- Your eyes are a bit swollen – she says not very amused at it, making you turn your face away so she doesn’t keep staring at you and end discovering all your lies – I totally get now you’re the stubborn type but don’t try to hide while you do that face!

She says while taking you by the wrist and makes you stand up, facing her.

\- I thought we were friends!

Friends, that’s right, you two are friends but you're scared of opening up to her and end being hated.

You look away, not ready to face her and take a deep breath, slowly turning your back at her to look through the window at the sky or anywhere else but her.

\- This role… I’ve been said I had to open up but I can’t really do that – you bravely start your confession still not looking at her - Since I was a little kid, I always loved old movies and novels but I was the only one so that made me anxious. Every time somebody looked at me weirdly, I thought they were going to hate me so at the end, I got scared of being seen differently somehow and I started to act. I wanted to act like the good girl everybody liked and that’s when I started to feel a little bit better.

\- Shizuko....

\- I can't open up. If that's necessary to be an actress or a school idol then I can't do it. I can't express myself, I'm scared people would hate me if I do that – you admit to her, not bearing to see the way she looks at you as you tell her that, her possible disappointment or hate, no.... you wouldn't be able to bear that, especially not from her.

\- How can you say something so naïve? – she says with rage in her voice and you turn around in time to see her fist close to your face then feel a slight hit on your forehead – Who cares if people don't like you? Just look how cute I am and even like that, there're people who don't compliment me! You didn’t even call me cute! So tell me what do you think of me? – she asks you so suddenly you barely know what to say. Sure she's cute, way more than cute but that's not something you can say so easily and reveal your crush on her.

\- Eh? I-I think you're probably cute – you kind of lie to her but not completely.

\- See? You said it! Now let's talk about you! – you see her smiling happily at you – You’re surprisingly stubborn and the fact you aren't really that confident… let’s talk about all that.

Is she trying to insult you or comfort you in some strange way? Because she's making an awful job at it.

\- There could be people who say they don't like you but I love everything about you, Shizuku Osaka! So you don't have to worry... – she says really serious and your heart flutter at her words, blushing furiously while you feel a strange warmth invading your body. You observe her blushing too and turning nervously around to hide her blush from you before she shakily says – I’m going home! You heard me saying all that so you better win that second audition!

You watch dumbfounded how she leaves, feeling your heart beating faster and wilder than before while your surroundings already tinted with bright colors go very slowly back to their usual grayscale and not to black and white like they were before Kasumi came in and cupped your cheek saying those powerful and comforting words you needed to hear so badly. Words powerful enough to bring color back to your life, enough to give you the necessary courage to face the second audition and got the protagonist role back. A role has always belonged you.

The day of the play came and even though you were a complete wreckage, the mere thought of your parents boasting about their little daughter being the protagonist, clapping proudly and loudly and of the girls happily supporting you, calmed you instantly, especially after taking a quick look at Kasumi being nervous and excited at the same time while waiting for your acting, making a smile spread over your face.

The play went smoothly until the highest moment of it came in.

You couldn’t do it. You were terrified of opening up in front of everybody, especially in front of the girls. You were terrified of showing your vulnerability, of being judged or hated…

Your hands started to sweat and tremble and everything started to lose all sound and darken as your breathing quickened. You really couldn’t do it.

You were completely paralyzed, trying to act like everything was okay but thinking internally about running away when you caught Kasumi’s worried eyes staring at you and her lips moving, not knowing what she was saying and everything stopped for a second before it burst out in colors and sounds again.

You felt a burst of courage running through your veins and a feeling of warmth and peace invading you.

Then with her unknown help, you sang your soul out hoping she’d listen to your song carefully. And she did.

\- You were amazing – you hear a voice you know all too well behind you.

\- Thanks. It was because of you – you thank her quietly while she smiles wide and gets closer to you.

\- I’m glad my cute lucky charms helped you – she says cockily, winking at you and you feel your cheeks burn at it.

She stands in front of you, smiling softly and takes your hands in hers and everything starts to slowly gain back its natural color with that innocent and simple touch.

\- Did you ever felt like the song? – she asks you so quietly you barely hear her above the loud beating of your heart in your ears.

\- I did but I don't anymore – you answer to her, looking at your interlaced hands, feeling how warm and nice it feels and get unknowingly closer to her.

\- I really hope you don’t anymore – she whispers to you seriously while getting closer to you.

You look at her only to be silenced by her soft lips on yours and everything burst out in bright and warm colors as your heart flutter with such sweet and gentle kiss.

You kiss her back and feel her cupping your cheeks to deepen it.

\- I’m here now and I won’t leave no matter how stubborn you’re. I love you Shizuko – she tells you seriously yet smiling through tears.

\- I won't even think about pushing you away – you tell her through tears and kiss her again, smiling – I love you too Kasumi.

She smiles embarrassedly back at you and you wrap her tightly and happily in your arms, squeezing her petite body against yours.

\- Thank you.

\- Y-You’re welcome – she embarrassedly averts her eyes and you can’t help but think she’s utterly cute and giggle at it while she pouts at you.

You two stay liked that for a while, in the arms of the other while you take a look of your surroundings, seeing them painted in bright and warm colors then at her and steal a another kiss from her, surprising her while keep giggling at her now more profound blush and embarrassed squeal.

\- Thank you Kasumi – you thank her again, grateful at her support and at how she managed to turn your monochrome life to color again.

With her, everything is lively and full of warm and bright colors again and you really love it, just like you ended loving her.


End file.
